I’ve never had much time for people that play mind games. Yet I find myself playing mind games with my 3 year old son as he grows up.
I hate the thought of people playing mind games with me. So why I find it acceptable to play mind games with my son I’m not sure? Still, anything for a quiet life.
I don’t play mind games because I enjoy it. I do it because, well, I want him to do what I tell him to do. With two small children about the house, a quite life every now and again is something to be cherished. I mean it’s rare these days.
So when I think I can pull it off I’ll stop at nothing. Not even mind games.
I think its just that getting a 3 year old to do what you want them to do can leave you with an immense feeling of frustration. The same feeling of frustration you get when you try to get project managers to do what you want them to do. Like put realistic dates in the plan.
Now that’s not meant to be an insult to projects managers. I’m just trying to emphasis this point: when you tell a project manager that the testing effort is going to be 60 man days effort you mean “it’s going to be 60 man days effort”. You didn’t mean “it’s going to be 60 man days effort, but feel free to chop that in half the moment the project schedule looks like it’s going to slip, and the test team can work magic anyway, so we’ll be just fine working 20 hour days to make up for the fact that you failed to listen to us in the first place”.
Hey, if you know best, just half my figure anyway.
Whatever your justification, they know best. Just like my 3 year old.
There’s one trick I’ve learnt now. Took me forty years and the birth of two children to learn it, but then I never said I was a fast learner (more methodical).
I use this with my 3 year old and I’ve started using it with project mangers. That is, I present options rather than just putting one case forward. For some reason when you present options to people they feel they have to choose one of the options.
Bizarrely presenting a few options seems to confound people and distract them from considering anything else.
I’m not saying it’ll work every time. It’s just that for the last 3 months the “you can either go straight to bed” or “you can have a bath, we’ll play trains, then go to bed” has worked every time. I’m not saying it’ll still be working when he’s 16 but for the moment it’s working a treat.